Autumn's Approach

It is hard to focus on the passage of time. It is so overwhelming to me. You guys do so much during each day to make memories, add joy, encourage reflection. It seems I cannot stay in the moment long enough to really absorb how powerful it all is. I am constantly plagued by the idea that I am not present enough. That I should be noticing and noting and preserving all that you say and do, because I know I will forget. You will forget. And in the moments that life does not make sense and I feel like I am failing, I want to be able to pull out a picture or a note and remember the time you...

Julian, you are leaving for college this time next year. It is a full year away, but I am faced with lasts all around me. Sometimes it seems you have already started making your exit. It hurts me to know you don't eat dinner with us anymore, and may never again. It bothers me that family plans are made without even trying to include you, because of course you do not want to participate. I am happy your liife is full and that you seem more ready than ever to move on, but sometimes I cannot help but feel sad that I will be left behind. It is as itr should be. I know this. But I wish I had a few of those moments back. A few more pictures. I wish I had wrote it all down. So when I think back, like now, it would not be with tears at all that has gone by but with happyu memories and the knowledge that more will come.


Olivia, you are the happiest little girl sometimes. You come in so full of energy every single day from kindergarten. You dance and sing. ("The Cup Song" Oh my goodness. I wonder if you will ever remeber the song that had you banging every cup you could get your hands on to a rythym that you heard over and over again on YouTube.) Then there are the times that you say you are having a "darn it" day. Those times when something small has set you spiraling and there seems to be no way to get you turned back around. I worry sometimes that you will see the glass half empty. I also notice that you seem to get only fleeting satisfaction from things. A new movie or toy, an outing, as soon as the newness wears off you are ready for the next thing, event, experience. Maybe this only underlines the need to slow down and focus on the present.

So how do I teach you both to cherish the moments? How do I make sure you are aware of how important each day you have is, each minute of the day?