New Year's Eve 2012

Hallelujah!!! We have made it to 2013. I have made it to 40. The 30s are behind me. I'm not sad, I am excited. I want the next ten years to be the blossoming of all I have learned in these growing seasons. I want to be the role model, mother, woman, and person that make my children proud. Olivia began my day by rewrapping a paper of used stickers in a large box for my birthday gift. I thanked her profusely and then she went and got me a candy cane pen and a plain yellow pencil. Then I got hugs and more kisses and an encouragement to go thank her daddy because he helped her get that together for me. Then she was clingy and right beside me as she realized I would be going on a birthday date with my husband and she would be left at home. She did not understand how I could possibly want to go out with her dad when she was at home. Her wonderful brother watched her for a few hours so Brad and I could go out. Though it is hard right now to cuddle up to a porcupine, I love my son and was so proud of both of them as he bragged on her when we returned. Tonight I love having Ryne over with Julian to ring in 2013. I always wanted a house full of kids and I love when he invites friends over. Olivia, you wanted to watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation again as we ordered pizza and spent the night as a family at home tonight. You fell sound asleep before you could even sing happy birthday to me or eat pie. But you did eventually wake up and watch, eat half a piece of pie, and call it quits. My 40th birthday was wonderful. I love my family and the life we live. It hasn't been easy, but it will get easier. 2013 will be better. Quick funny Olivia: you always say you are apricot, not white, due to the crayon you use to color people. Your teacher, Mrs. Dawn, is very tan. You say she is a brown person. So I tried to explain she is white, but just spends time in the sun. And in a very indignant way you say to me, "She celebrates Kwanzaa." Where do you get this stuff? Funny as it is, who write this stuff for you? You crack me up. I thank both of my children and my husband for keeping me laughing. I need them, more than they know. Maybe I can work on telling them more in 2013!

Tis the season...

December is here and time is flying by. Things have been pretty stressful and I have found myself wishing this month away. Money is tight and I am having a hard time remembering it is not about the gifts we are able to give (for me it has never been about receiving). If I could give you kids your every hearts' desire, I would, even knowing it would not be best for you in the long run to always have everything you want. But I just want you to be happy and sometimes the easiest path to that is "stuff". It is the easiest way to make you smile and watch you be excited. I know in my heart that you can be happy without a lot of things... And this year we will just have to put that to the test. It will still be nice and it will still be fun, but it will be small and it will be just us. And we will be free to change traditions if we want to. I am trying to think of the best way for THIS family to celebrate. Do we open gifts at night and sleep in on Christmas? That would be a gift. Maybe open all but what Santa brings before we go to bed and then open just Santa presents in the morning? Would going to Mass on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning be a new tradition to start? Olivia and I can go to church and let the boys sleep and then open Santa when we get home? There is no one to ask. No one else to consider. It is just us and we can do whatever we want. What do we want to do? What will keep stress at bay? I know that I would like to start a tradition of sitting down Christmas night and writing thank-you notes before we go to bed. What better way to end a day than expressing our gratitude for all we have received? So as the holiday comes and plans are being made, I will try to keep in mind that what really matters is that we have time to enjoy each other. That we celebrate our family. That we express our gratitude. When I can keep this focus, the gifts under the tree seem less important. Maybe this is the year to replace THINGS with MEMORIES.